Who is that?

Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder who is staring back at you? Do you just sigh and think 'who is that sad, fat girl? Why doesn't anyone help her out? She looks like she needs it....'? Or when you see her, do you freak out and have to run to the bathroom because breakfast is coming back up with a vengeance? Those are my two most common reactions to the stranger in the mirror. I actually have taken to draping scarves across the tops of my mirrors. That way I can still check to see if my outfit is passable, without the trauma of realizing that the hideous blob in the mirror is me.

Ok, so her we are, my 35th Birthday, now begins the journey......

I'll start with my basic stats....

Weight: Unknown (I'll weigh myself at the gym tomorrow, horror of horrors)

Physical well being: Better than yesterday, had my neck adjusted this morning (happy birthday to me!) and am now no longer in excruciating pain, just the normal never-ending abdominal pain. My allergies are pretty bad still, wondering if it's a dust thing instead of a flower thing........ also wondering if I'll have to give up wearing contacts, my eyes have been ridiculously itchy and miserable.

Mental well being: I'm trying to just enjoy my birthday without over-analyzing all the things going wrong in my life, it's too overwhelming, I'm pushing it all out of my mind for today.

Sleep: Not enough again last night, I really miss my furry leg-warmer. Will I ever sleep well again?

Food: Too much rich food, too much sugar, can't seem to exercise restraint today...... I really want to go get another free Dutch Bros coffee.......... I need help!

Exercise: Not much today, walking to Subway doesn't really count, eh? I'm going to watch a movie for my birthday instead of working out tonight....

Housework: Not today!!!!

Relationship: None. I'm wondering if my mom is right, if I really have no concept of how to understand the male half of the species. I'm also curious as to if it's a terminal case of cluelessness or if it's curable...... maybe with proper training...... oh well, doesn't matter anyway, no prospects on the horizon..........

Relationship with God: I've decided that I am speaking to Him. I'm trying not to be mad at Him for what happened with Shelby Lynne, it's hard. I'm hoping that someday I'll begin to feel loved by Him again instead of so incredibly picked-on........

Bible Study: Reading Psalms and Proverbs, at least one chapter of each today. Not sure I'll get much more than that in........

General Thoughts: I think my unhappiness is making me a less-kind person. I'm not as generous with others as I used to be, I'm not as empathetic, I'm not as good of a listener, I've been experiencing an alarming level of road-rage and I have found it difficult to genuinely rejoice with my friends when they are blessed. This is not ok with me. I don't like being this person. I will actively work on feeling joy for the blessings bestowed on my friends. I love them, I want them to be happy, I must work on my attitude. OH, WAIT!!!! I did experience jealousy-free joy for Christi yesterday......... something she's always wanted has finally happened for her and for a little while I felt complete joy for her, sans-bitterness..... Hey, maybe I'm already growing as a person...... ;P

That's all for now. I just finished my slice of razzleberry pie and am ready to call it a night........

More tomorrow!

~Jess